Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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