her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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