DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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