Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
