this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
