i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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