he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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