WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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