You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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