update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize