I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
