How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
