1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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