she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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