OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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