No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
