One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
