super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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