I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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