Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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