Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
