remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
