..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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