hotel room ftw
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
