saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize