think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
