I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
