remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
