Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
