I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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