I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
