When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
