yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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