I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
