Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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