I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
