so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
