but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
