I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
