For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
