I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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