what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
