He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
BRING THE BAGELS
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
