Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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