I think my fart just growled at me.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
