I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
