We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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