so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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