Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
