I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
