my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
