Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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