He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
