thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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