I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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