Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
