I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
