i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As shirtless as possible
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
