i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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