Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
