he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
