They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
