I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize